It starts within

We talk a lot about change these days. The world has become more uncertain, and our societal problems more complex. It calls for new structures, new systems, new solutions, and new paths forward. But in the midst of all this, there is something we often overlook: ourselves.

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For how do we ourselves stand in these processes of change? What do we truly long for? And how do we create actions that align with our values and the life we want to live—not just now, but in the long run? For even when we can see that something no longer serves us, it is far from certain that we will act on it.

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We stay in what we know because it is comfortable. We tell ourselves that it probably isn’t the right time yet. We wait, we procrastinate, and we remain in the familiar—on the hamster wheel—while our organizations talk about change.

 

When we know it - but don’t act

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Most people I meet in my work on inner leadership actually know exactly what they long for. They sense that something needs to change—a work life that no longer feels meaningful, a manager who oversteps their boundaries, or an organization where the pace is fast and expectations are constantly rising.

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I meet people who feel that their values don’t align with the way their work is organized. There’s no room for vulnerability, for diversity, or for the whole person, and even though they try to fit in, the joy and motivation have vanished.

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I also meet people who are stressed—both at work and outside of it. Their expectations of themselves are sky-high, and when it never feels good enough, they slowly start to tear themselves down. They can sense that the way they are in the world no longer serves them—and yet, often, nothing happens. Not because they don’t want to. But because it demands something of them.

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Taking your own leadership seriously isn’t just about figuring out what you want. It’s about being willing to face whatever stands in your way—and actually doing something about it. We aren’t used to standing in our own leadership. We’re used to conforming to structures where we’re expected to deliver more, fit in, and react quickly. To put it bluntly: we jump when we’re told to jump. And somewhere along the way, we lose the ability to sense what’s right for us, to speak up, and to take control of our own lives.

 

What stands in the way

 

What holds us back is rarely a lack of knowledge. We know full well what stress does to us, and we talk about well-being both in the media and with one another. So why don’t we take action? Because it requires us to face something far more difficult—namely, discomfort.

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The fear of not being good enough, the fear of failing, and the fear of not being accepted all play a role. As humans, we have a deep need for security, and that’s why we tell ourselves stories that keep us in place: that it’s not the right time, that we are too young, too old, that we have too much on our plate right now, or that we’re not ready. We can always find a reason to stay.

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But change rarely feels safe. It can feel like standing in the open sea with no solid ground beneath our feet—unsure, vulnerable, and at times overwhelming. And that is precisely why we often stay put, even when we know that something must change.

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Taking yourself seriously

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In my work, I find that the decisive shift occurs when people begin to take themselves—and their own process—seriously. When they realize that the consequences of staying where they are may be greater than those of moving forward.

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It often starts with some very simple, yet honest questions: What are the consequences of staying in the same place for me and for my loved ones? What am I afraid of? And what does it take for me to take the next step?

For many, it starts with a quiet “shit”—followed by an “aha.” A realization that they actually have a choice, and that they can start taking themselves seriously. But the shift doesn’t just happen in the mind. It happens when it’s also felt in the body. The body doesn’t lie

 

In my workshops, I often ask participants to move around the room, stand in one spot, feel it, and then physically move to a new vantage point. Because change isn’t just a mental process—it’s also a physical one.

We can easily say we’re ready, but the body might tell a different story. It might feel tense, restless, or hesitant. We might have trouble sleeping, lose motivation, or sit in meetings and sense that something isn’t right.

When we dare to stay with it and feel it, we gain access to something important: an honesty that isn’t about what we tell others, but about what we actually feel within ourselves. And it is from here that we can begin to move forward.

 

The first step

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Taking our own leadership seriously doesn’t mean we have all the answers. It means we sense that something needs to change—and that we act anyway. Not from a place of perfection, but from a growing awareness that we are in a process, and that there is no going back to the way things were.

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It’s not about having complete clarity, but about being willing to take the first step and move forward. Because leadership doesn’t start when we get the right title, position or the right job. It starts the moment we take responsibility for our own lives.

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And it doesn’t start out there—it starts within.